I'm entering a plea of insanity.....

It's a nice Sunday afternoon in April. I'm walking through the produce section at my neighborhood grocery store. Ahh...fresh fruit and vegetables...nothing better...

Mmm...bananas....I LOVE bananas. I think I'll pick up a bunch of these yellow beauties....yep...sounds perfect!

Alrighty...home at last...put these golden treats in my fruit basket....boy, oh boy...I'll have to remember to take those to work for a snack.

Monday....oops, forgot bananas

Tuesday....darn it, forgot them again

Wednesday....goodness, I just HAVE to remember those tomorrow!

Thursday.....ugh, stupid bananas

Friday....well, looks like I'm making banana bread

Saturday....Hey..where did these annoying, pesky little gnats come from? Hmm...where in the world did these si-......Oh. My. Gosh! They're EVERYWHERE!!!

BANANAS ARE THE DEVIL!

Seriously, folks....these gnats CANNOT. BE. DESTROYED! I have tried everything I can think of!

First, I totally cleaned my apartment...top to bottom...thinking "Aha! Take THAT gnats! Now, there are no dirty surfaces for you to party on! (apparently, clean works for them too....hmph)

Then, I tried chasing the little demons around with my vacuum cleaner. (if anyone had been watching, I would already be in a loony bin)

After about two weeks, they seemed to become more sparse...so, I thought,"Hey..something I'm doing must be working!"

Ahh...I think I'll celebrate by enjoying a nice glass of merlot...just settle in here....turn on a good movie (aka, American Idol..hehe) and lazily sip on my velvety smooth mer-........ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?! (about 20 gnats are buzzing around my decadent treat...some have already dived in to taste it for themselves!)

ALRIGHT...THAT'S IT! .................No more Mr. Nice Guy...er, uh, Gal! You wanna play little bugs.....{whisper}let's play.......{evil grin}

So, my internet rampage search began......

"How to obliterate, massacre, destroy get rid of gnats"

So, I realized that they were incredibly drawn to the vinegar in my wine....so, I put together a little trap with a bowl of wine, tightly wrapped plastic wrap over the top, and itty bitty holes punched in the top. The goal is to entice them into the bowl and then they cannot get back out of the holes....(bwahahaha...this is sure to work)

......................................I caught 2......................WHAT AM I DOING WRONG!?!

Back to the drawing board.....

I decided that I was not going to let those monsters detract from my relaxing evening, so instead of using a wine glass (easily accessible), I brought the wine bottle over to the coffee table with the stopper in it.....and, I armed myself with my firm hold Biolage hairspray. (you can see where this one is going, can't you?) Needless to say, wine does not taste the same drinking it from the bottle as it does when you drink it from a glass.......and, under no circumstances does wine ever taste good a-la-hairspray. (foiled again......)


So, I pretty much gave up after that. At first, I pretended not to see them. Then, I shooed them away a bit....finally, I started naming them. I figured, if they're here to stay, I may as well call them my own....

It's been over a month now...and Vivian, Rocco, Charlie, Annette, Bubbsy, Swoozle and Spinny would all like to say "Hello"....

I'll keep you updated with their crazy and kooky antics....

Unless..........Is that a bug bomb in your apartment, Summer? Uh. Oh.