Tuesday, September 29, 2009

True Story Tuesday....How much do I cost?

So, if you read my post from yesterday, you are aware that I spent last week in the lovely (aka..tiny) town of Victoria, Texas. While there, I met some nice locals who I hung out with several nights there. One particular night, I had met up with some of these new friends at the "upscale" bar in town. (now, I must tell you...their idea of "upscale" is a little bit different than Dallas...but, amusing nonetheless)

We are all sitting there enjoying a drink, and I excuse myself to go to the ladies room. As I'm walking through the bar, I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn around to see this "Bluto-type" character with a goofy grin across his hairy face. I smile politely and continue on my merry way.....uh..yeah....not getting away that easy.

He grabs my arm and says, "WOW...you're so beautiful. What's your name? Why don't I buy you a drink!"

Me: "Umm...well, that's very sweet of you, but I'm actually heading to the ladies room right now...so..." (I begin walking away once more...)

Bluto: "Wait, wait, wait! You can't just walk away! I think you should marry me!" (yes, he actually said this)

Me: (staring in shock and slight amusement) "Well, now...that IS quite the offer, but I REALLY need to go to the restroom now....so...." (by this point, my bladder is beginning to scream at me and my "sweet little southern girl demeanor" is wearing thin)

Bluto: "Seriously! We just HAVE to be together...come on...."

Me: (walking briskly to restroom and duck inside the door.....WHEW! Safe!)

I'm walking into the big stall (oh, come on...you know you use the big stall sometimes even if the others are available)...I'm about to close the door....and who do I see?

Me: "BLUTO! Err..umm..I mean...DUDE...WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE LADIES RESTROOM?"

That's right folks....he followed me into the restroom.

Bluto: "But, I just think we should talk..."

Me: "GET OUT OF HERE.....NOW!"

Thankfully, at this point, some other unsuspecting girl walks in and gives me this "What in the world is this dude doing in the ladies restroom" look, and I know my eyes were pleading with her to help me. We both look at him and at the same time say, "GET OUT!" He stumbles out....thank. goodness!

Of course, this girl is now my instant BFF (for the next 5 minutes at least)...you know how we girls are....we bond over things like this. As we're walking out of the restroom, we are already concocting our plan of what to do if crazed-bathroom-intruder decides to pursue me again. I make it back to my friends without running into him, and all is well once again.

A short time later, we hear a small commotion over at the bar, not far from us...we look over and see Bluto and another dude hitting each other...this dude is just one class act. Turns out, the guy is his brother! Yep...his brother. Ahhh...small towns. So, they take it outside and OF COURSE, the whole bar practically files out automatically to see the action. (yes, me too...COME ON...it's a fight!)

By the time I walk out there, they're already hugging. I wanted to scream, "WHAT KIND OF A FIGHT IS THAT?! WHERE'S THE ACTION?!" But, I contained my WWF tendencies.

As Bluto is walking back into the bar, he spots me. UGH...here we go again....

Bluto: "I think you should hang out with me and my friends for the rest of the night."

Me: "Umm..thanks, but no thanks. I'm hanging out with these guys." (thankfully, my friends were standing right there!)

Bluto: "Ok...here is 100 dollars to hang out with us." (he actually gets a 100 dollar bill from his wallet and tries to hand it to me)

Me: (total look of shock on my face) "Are you kidding me?!"

Bluto: "Alright...$200!" (he gets out another 100 dollar bill)

Me: (mouth gaping open with total disgust)

Bluto: "Ok, Ok....$300...final offer." (he is handing me $300)

At this point, my friend (who, by the way, was thoroughly amused watching this whole thing go down) walks up and says, "Yeah...she's with us, and we're leaving now. Bye"

He leads me away and I'm still in total disbelief. My friend says, "You should have just taken the money and run! HAHA!" Looking back, I really should have.... ;)

So, I guess that's what I am worth? $300? Huh....always thought I was at least worth $475.50......oh well.

6 comments:

Summer @ B is for Brown said...

you cannot put a price on a Summer. ;)

hugs to you and high five for getting away from that freakazoid.

Lauren said...

Wow! I have encounter some crazy drunks in my life but that guy takes the cake!

Emily said...

Ugh. What a loser. I'm w/ your friends though...I would have taken the money and then just left!!

Molly said...

unbelievable! crazy story! i totally would have taken the money and hit the road! at least you didn't sell yourself for $300. :)

Kristen said...

LOL! What a great story Summer. And oh ya, long time no speak. Sorry about that. I've been even more MIA than you. :-)

Glad that you had a good time and got away from the crazy bar guy.

Kerree said...

I'm sure he would have gone higher :) But you are so gorgeous I'm sure this kind of stuff happens to you all the time :)